Sheila's Musings

 

The last time Sheila ever felt loved—intense, soul-wrenching, heart-thumping love was in the period between 2007 – 2011. She was just 19 and he was 21. He didn’t have money to give her and she didn’t even want money, she wanted just him—and he did love her. It was obvious in the way he treated her. In the way he looked at her. She knew it deep down in her soul that he loved her until he didn’t because he cheated and made it so obvious—she almost died. It was excruciatingly painful… But two years later, she moved on.

In her service year, in 2013, she met someone else. He was so caring. Very loving. Everything she could ever want in a man. It was all so beautiful, but he was so insecure. He would check her phones and read her chats, but she didn’t mind because she had nothing to hide. Until she found out she was the side chick and took her L with pride and moved on.

Fast forward to Dami in 2015. She needs to tell you his name because he was the only one who ever did right by her. He was the only one who really knew her, took his time to study and understand her. They were exceptionally good friends for two years before they started dating. Even when she knew he was cheating, he respected her so much that she didn’t even care because she knew how much he respected her, how much he cared about her and how much he cherished what they had. He tried so hard to keep it from her and she forgave him because of the distance—they weren’t in the same city. She would never have left him, but his sister disliked her and caused a strain in their relationship. He was the only one who really took care of her and for that, she would always be grateful. It ended in 2017.

There were others in-between, but they aren’t worth writing about because it never lasted for more than three months. She thinks something died inside of her after then until December 2019. She thought she had met someone exceptional because of how he doted on her and splashed pictures of them all over social media—but if she thought she had had bad relationships; this was the worst ever. Disadvantages of being beautiful, she smiled as she narrated her story—you are the perfect fit for a revenge mission. He started dating her to “pepper” his ex, even though he would never admit it. It worked. She would blow up his phone with calls and won’t stop liking and commenting on his posts on social media. He refused to block her though he was quick to block Sheila everywhere after they broke up. He blatantly called other girls in her presence, spending hours on the phone with them. Would call and chat with his ex, loving her pictures on social media and would always be quick to point out how she was better than Sheila in all ramifications. She took it all in her stride because, at this point, she had concluded in her mind that maybe it was actually so difficult to love her until one day, she couldn’t take the disrespect anymore and walked away.

So, when you see a “fine girl” like Sheila running away from relationships and men, it is because of things like this.

A month after her breakup, an old friend chatted her up but he was always giving off hot and cold vibes and when she called his attention to it, he switched up on her. They had not even gotten to see each other after such a long time but then, shit happens. Everyone is quick to tell others how much they love them and how they won’t ever leave but the real question to be asked is: till when? Till they find someone better? Till they find a lighter skin or a darker skin person they prefer? Or till they find a richer person.

Something is happening to our generation and it is not a good thing. We are quick to use people and throw them away because we think we would never need them. You have no idea of what will happen in the next few years. What would that person remember you for? The user? The abuser? Or the amazing partner?

What is the craze for money about? Every relationship now requires money to function. Even when the guy has enough to take care of himself and the girl doesn’t ask for anything, she is seen as below par because she doesn’t buy expensive gifts that will make her bankrupt for him. If you think someone is not your spec or doesn't measure up to your standards, why date them in the first place? People should normalise asking about their prospective partner's financial strength before dating these days to avoid stories that touch since this is what it has now come down to.

True love doesn’t exist anymore and if it does, it would be so rare to find. It is such a sad thing.