Easy Breakup

I wake up with a banging head. It’s the third day in a row, I have used Paracetamol and Dolo Meta-B repeatedly because I thought it had something to do with my eyes. I just got new glasses last week, it definitely isn’t because of the glasses or is it? 

I get up from the bed and find my way to the kitchen. The sachet of Paracetamol lay there on the counter just beside the sink. I’m thinking, “should I take another dose or just go back to sleep?” I decide to go back to sleep. Perhaps if I try to sleep for a longer time, I’ll feel better when I wake up—I go back to bed. 

I wake up at exactly 2p.m. Have I been sleeping all this time? Shit! I’ve missed my Saturday class for Yoga. I pick up my phone with the intention of apologising to my instructor on WhatsApp. I see the notifications—63 messages from 8 chats. I groan…. Arrrggghhh! Who are the people sending these messages? Can’t a girl be offline for a bit? 

I ignore the messages and just send my apology to Chiks, my Yoga instructor. I then decided to reply everyone starting from the most recent one. It was Yinka, my “supposed” boyfriend. Our relationship is a funny one. We see once or twice a year and half of the time when we do video calls when we’re apart, we’re either bickering or arguing. I wonder how we’re still together. His message reads: “hey babe, still sleeping? Buzz me when you wake up.” I roll my eyes, I’m not in the mood to talk to him… yet.

 I reply all other messages and proceed to brush my teeth and have my bath. I have grocery shopping to do and it feels like the day had ended already. I hurry out the door and hail the first bike I see.

#

 

I get home to see six missed calls on my phone. Three from Ma and three from lover boy—I had left my phone at home, deliberately. I drop the groceries on the kitchen counter. I pick up the phone and call Ma. She’s asking after Yinka.

“You have been with him for three years now. What are you guys doing?”

“What do you mean ma?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Very well then, I don’t know what we are doing. We are just together.”

“This child! It’s like you’ve forgotten you’re not getting younger.”

“I know ma.”

“So, what’s with this love across the ocean?”

“I love him.”

“Well then, get him to come and pay your bride price if he’s serious.”

“I can’t do that ma. I’ll seem desperate.”

“Aunty! Do something or get someone serious.”

“Yes, ma.”

 

I end the call with ma. She has never been bothered with my single status. What is wrong with her today? Maybe a concerned aunt has called her—as usual. I sigh and dial Yinka’s number. I tell him about my conversation with Ma.

“But you know I love you, I’m just not ready.”

“When will you be ready?”

“I really can’t say for now.”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What! No!”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?”

“Be with you.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

“More serious than I’ve ever been.”

“Alright then. Suit yourself, I can’t force you to stay.”

“I love you. Bye.”

“Yeah, bye.”

 

That was easy. He didn’t even try to stop me. Anyway, burger no fit tell eba how banga soup dey be—na Naija girls dey sabi Naija guys way. I’m dead sure he’s seeing someone. I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing, I’m just glad I’m free. I try to think, the head pounds again. Shit! Can’t think straight. I get up. These groceries won’t sort themselves now, will they?

Image by Drazen Zigic on Freepik